TIME AFTER TIME

It finally happened.
I thought I was doing really well.
Following all the protocols.
Taking all the precautions.
Keeping up with the meds.
Then it happened.
Cabin Fever.
That point in time when you begin to count every strand of hair on your head to make sure they have not abandoned you.
When you begin to believe that you really are a part of the storyline of your favorite TV drama or sitcom.
When you begin to name the corns on your toes.
When you stand in the front window and wave at the neighborhood cats as they stroll down the sidewalk.
When your favorite time of the week is when the physical therapist takes your blood pressure.
When you line your meds up side by side to express your gratitude for their not running out on you.
When you snuggle up under the comforter in 90 degree weather because you just want to cuddle.
When you lip sync in front of the bathroom mirror because you just want to talk to someone face to face.
When you begin to teach your walker how to “Nae Nae.”
When the shower becomes an in-home Water Park feature.
When the highlight of your day is to be dressed before noon.
When you sit quietly and watch your toenails grow.
When you discover wrinkles in unexpected and unacceptable places.
When you begin to memorize all the verses to “The Star Spangled Banner.”
When stepping outside to stand on the porch for a quick minute is like being invited to the White House on the 4th of July.
When you order MAC lipstick online and wait anxiously for the postman every day.
When you engage the wrong number stranger on the phone because you just need to talk to another human.
When you know it is another three weeks before you can get back to normal and you no longer recognize normal or even remember if you were ever normal.
When at 2:00 a.m. in the morning the house begins to whisper your name.
When you don’t care if you’ve lost weight or not.
When yesterday really is so far away and tomorrow looks just like today.
When it no longer matters if it’s a.m. or p.m.
When jiggling your arm wing flaps becomes a new game you invent to amuse your grandchild.
When you wonder if anyone will recognize you when you return.
When you wonder if anyone will remember your name when you return.
Yeah, that’s it.
Cabin Fever.

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