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FAITH ON LOCK DOWN

I am a woman of faith

I believe in God the Father, God the Son, God the Holy Spirit

No apology here

If you have a dissenting view

No worries

We can talk, share our “Whys”

But I will not debate

About what I believe

Sunday

The preacher said

Expectations are the foundation for miracles

I sat there

And wondered

About my miracle request

My prayers for healing

Cartilage restored

Degeneration removed

In the moment

Asked God

To unlock the locks on my faith

Locks I may know nothing of

Apparently have no key

Faith waiting to be released

Open the locks, Lord, open the locks

I wonder

Are there strongholds in my faith

Strongholds orchestrated by others

Who sincerely believed

And so I believed

Until the locks forcefully clicked into place

And I now plead

Lord, if there are locks, please unlock the locks

And destroy any strongholds

So that my expectations become your miracles

My new prayer for healingimgres

 

 

 

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WHEN ONE DOOR CLOSES: On The Other Side Of Yesterday

The Story Behind a Door

It has been almost fourteen years since an oh-so-familiar door was slammed shut in my face!

I had in and out privileges for almost 27 years through that door marked “Relationship,” two years companion, twenty-five years, wife.

Twenty-seven years, learning and knowing and growing, laughter and anger, abundance and need.

Then, abruptly and without grace, Death slammed the door shut in my face and I was denied access for the rest of my life

Unsure and and a little afraid, I stood alone in front of a new door, a door slightly ajar, a door marked “New Normal.”

Surrounded by questions for whom the answers would come painfully slow, I tentatively pushed open the door a little more, just to peer past it to see what I could see.

I saw nothing.

I quickly discovered I had to step inside before I would see anything  at all.

It has been an unexpected journey, often watered with tears and plowed with frustration.

Mostly an uphill journey on a path marked “Single,” I’ve learned to endure the detours as well the unexpected pot holes and speed bumps.

Sometimes the days are sweltering, other days cool and refreshing.

These days the door marked “Relationship” is no longer in view, but the memories stayed with me and they often swathe me in the warmth of their comfort, especially when yesterday really is so far away.

“…could tell you my adventures–beginning from this morning,’ said Alice a little timidly: ‘but it’s no use going back to yesterday, because I was a different person then.”
― Lewis Carroll, Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

MY HEART, HER HOME

I was going through some old pictures last week when I came across one I had not seen in some time.

Someone decided to bend the top portion, perhaps to put into a wallet, I don’t know.

I thought, “I will have to get it restored because of that crease that runs right through the  face of the person in the photo.”

It is a picture of my grandmother. She died in 1964. It is the only picture I have of her, full body.

I loved my grandmother. I still think of her often. My sister and I lived with my grandparents for three years.

It was the country and the living was neither easy (for them) or fancy.

I loved it, was not even mindful of what they did not have.

I just loved being there, being with them.

Well, more my grandmother more than my grandfather who was rather taciturn and rarely interacted at any length with us kids.

My grandmother was not beautiful. She was not pretty. I’m not sure you would even call her handsome.

I see that now. I did not see that then.

I only saw her, only heard her laughter, enjoyed the food she cooked, especially the steak and gravy with rice or those fat red sausages served for Sunday breakfast after Grandpa’s Saturday trip to the  market.

They lived in the country with very few modern conveniences.

No indoor plumbing, no electricity or gas, chickens on the yard, wood stoves, tin roof, well water.

I do not remember ever being bored.

This picture takes me home.

After all, home is where the heart is.

All these years later, my heart is still her home!

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TUESDAY THOUGHTS: In The Midst Of It All

I was raised in the Baptist Church in the South and gospel music was, and still is, very much a part of who I am.

I had a dream last night. There were no images, just a song and this thought:

God’s On Your Side!

I don’t know if anyone needs to hear this or even if anyone cares to hear this.

I may not even be in your wheelhouse!

Kanye-Shrug-822-1

Kanye Shrug!

I am just the messenger.

God’s On Your Side!!!!