There is an old gospel song
Well, actually, quite a few old gospel songs
That include the refrain
“I looked at my feet and they looked new”
This morning I looked at my feet
And,
OMG!
What is going on with my feet?

After my knee surgery, the skin on my legs and feet began to peel
And peel and peel and peel
Pieces of dead skin that came off in layers
I was not too concerned
Except when I went to the doctor and had to expose my peeling appendages to his inspection
But the doctor never reacted
At least not in my presence

Or when I went to church and by the time I pulled up in the parking lot
My kind and gentle sweetly perfumed lotion applied early that morning had given up the ghost to the unrelenting peeling
So that I am in the car praying I did not forget to bring my back-up ready for battle gotta have some grease in it lotion
For such a time as that

Later sitting in church looking down at my feet and discovering a patch had escaped the parking lot hard core lotion repair
Trying to surreptitiously apply a quick fix
Without being noticed

“Oh, look, she is bent over in the Spirit!”
😳

This morning when I looked at my feet
They did not look new
They did not look new
Did I tell you that this morning when I looked at my feet
“They did not look new?”

Okay, here is the problem
I cannot bend over to scrub my feet in the shower
I cannot bend over to lotion my feet after I get out of the shower
Hey, it’s a challenge just to get in or out of the shower
It is one of the precautions for hip replacement surgery
No bending beyond a certain degree
As a result
My feet now suffer from what looks like a terminal case of “Ash”
A well kept secret of those raised on Vaseline, and Royal Crown when Vaseline was not available
(Don’t play with me, y’all know when it comes to “Ash,” grease is grease)
“Ash,” for the uninformed, is really just dead skin that needs a good exfoliating
Scientific name for my condition, Ashie Footus Extremus
My feet look like I strolled through Fields of Flour
No, not Fields of Flowers
Fields of Flour

Do you have any idea how difficult it is to get someone to lotion, oil, grease your feet?
Oh, they will “I love you” all day long
But one look at those feet of yours that do not look new
And they run for the hills

Is there no end to this indignity?

I looked at my feet. . .

No pictures were taken in the writing of this piece
I may be ashy but I am not stupid!