OH HAPPY DAY

Mr. Hyde returned to the scene of the crime today.

He is still smiling, still full of cheery personality.

His platitudes:
“Hey, how are you?” (I almost want to give him a high five)
“Wow” (as he measures the bend of my knee), “you are at 100%, 90% is functional for home care”.

Just as I am preparing to break out into my happy dance, Mr. Hyde says, “Now we have to get to normal.”

Wait! What?

“How is the pain?”

Me: Well, I don’t think of it as pain but based on your definition of pain as any discomfort, it’s minimal. Besides, I have a high pain threshold.

“Really, a high pain threshold?” (Why is he smirking like that and rubbing his hands together?)

“Okay, so we are going to graduate you from the walker to a crutch. Have you ever used a crutch?”

Noooo.

“The crutch will work better for you. Also, I am going to change your exercises to standing exercises because the ones you do lying down exacerbate your hip issues.”

Okay, so I am doing well with the knee but the steps to getting back to normal are now messing with my arthritic hip which may affect my getting to normal?

O_o

I am so disappointed!

This is not Mr. Hyde’s fault. In fact, I get another week of in-home therapy with this smiling purveyor of physical torture, ah, physical therapy (my bad) because my bones creak and crackle.

Oh, Happy Day! (Do they teach PTs hypnotism, too?)

Oh, Happy Day!

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